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10 Day You Challenge – Day 1
19Yes, I haven’t written anything in a while. I am sorry. No, I wasn’t fooling around. Yes, fine, I am a total jerk!
Honestly, I am not confident if this challenge will keep me writing stuff for ten straight days. 10 days is a lot of time. Also considering I have never written anything unless I really wanted to, I fear it’s going to end up with me giving up on it, or acting negligent, OR, I may even shut down my blog and hide somewhere for I don’t like to lose. That was absurd, I know, and totally random, yes. But I need this. I do realize now what my life has been missing for not writing the things that are required to be done. So I need to force myself into writing. And this challenge seems just the right thing for the moment.
Day 1 – ten secrets
Oh man, I am so gonna regret this! WTH was he THINKING? The person who came up with this challenge? 10 SECRETS! Bah!
1. You suck! No? OK, fine. I am completely dishonest at times. That’s something I do when I don’t feel safe telling the truth. And as much as I hate to say that but it happens more often with people in my real life than those online. No, not with the people close to my heart. I can’t lie to them. They’ll know when I do.
2. I don’t like family functions. Not that I hate them, I just think I got better stuff to do. Scooby Doo? WTH am I supposed to do among people who are 20 years older than me and talk stuff like business deals, stocks & shares and increasing expenses by their children. Duh-huh, I am not gonna start spending less just because you pick up that topic every time you walk into me.
3. I don’t like people waking me up in the morning. You do that, you make yourself worthy of my wrath. It’s as simple as that.
4. It’s been years since I have had a best friend. I have good friends. Ones I am really close with. But I miss something of some sort, something I had in my relations few years ago. Few of them will disagree with that, but I know it’s true. And that feeling of emptiness, of not having that ‘something’, someone, endures in my mind for most part.
5. There are things I might not react to at first. I will act as if they don’t matter to me, but the truth is, they do. When people ask me if I am happy with my college, I tell them yes, I couldn’t have been happier. Reality, I hate myself for not working harder in those two years and for not getting the college I promised one of my best friends back then.
6. I am pretty over-possessive when it comes to the people I love. And that feeling amplifies with time. I start judging and interpreting every single thing that happens to them. Everything they say and do, collects in my mind, which keeps processing those thoughts all day long. I can’t help not caring. I act protective, and don’t want them to get hurt. Most of the times, however, not letting anyone else hurt them, I end up hurting them myself.
7. Personally, I can’t stand people who keep whining… for attention most of them. Rest are useless chumps. Everyone deals with unexpected things in life. I don’t post facebook statuses to garner “Awww. I am sorry”s or tweets screaming for attention. The closest I ever get is angsty updates that either get deleted within hours or turn into good conversations. Also I ‘secretly’ pity people who try to be what they are not. They amuse me, really do. Honestly, I would like to know what makes them think that if they are not happy with the way they are, they will be happier being someone else. A copy, will always remain a copy. An original, will always be an original (#TalksLikeTVD). You try being what you are not, you will as well lose the only real identity you have.
8. I’m not a non-believer of God. I say I am but I am not. I just hate Him. ‘Hate’ is a strong word I know. And I hate Him. I have my reasons. And no, I don’t pray. I just leave Him messages before I sleep, telling Him how much I hate him for everything He has put me through. I don’t blame Him for the mistakes I commit. I just blame Him for the things He is responsible for in my life. It’s because people say it is Him who is responsible for them and that things like those can’t happen without His consent. So I am being my natural self holding a grudge against Him.
9. I don’t know if this is the inner child in me wanting to be different and unique, but my last name has always kind of bugged me. I never use my full name anywhere, unless it is mandatory. I think it’s too much of a common name – and that coming from someone named Supriya!
10. I am super-duper lazy. Yeah, that’s not much of a secret but you know… I am getting lazy to think of my secret no. 10 right now, so I guess I will just pass. No? Oh come’on! You know there is no limits to my laziness. I am so lazy I won’t even run if my a$$ was on fire. Ha, but I guess neither would you! Wouldn’t you just sit and rub it off the ground? 
The words not said..
10I had a wish that you be mine, just mine. I wanted you to love me. And I wanted to be there always, to love you. If only I knew it was a mistake, that I was just being selfish. Selfish enough not to think what it would do to you.. what it will do to us. I know I did something wrong. Then why doesn’t it feel so wrong. It seemed perfect. Life felt so real. And I wanted to have it, all of it.
I am sorry I went overboard with our relation, it wasn’t meant to go that way. I am sorry I got carried away.. with it’s emotions, love and serenity. With you life seemed so perfectly perfect that I just didn’t want to give it up, ever. All I wanted was every bit of love that you got. I wanted other’s share of it too. You must think I was selfish. When all I was doing was being stupid. I made our lives so obscure to deal with. I made it so small to comfort in. You and me, that was it. What I thought and I always knew but never realized, never wanted to realize was that it could never happen. You and me, it could never be that way. Life would never be the way we could be happy, together. Life ain’t programmed to keep everyone forever happy. I wish it did. And I know you’d wish the same. But I don’t know why it always has to be the harsh way. I hate myself for bringing tears to your eyes, rolling them down those sweet lil’ cheeks of yours.. the same I used to kiss each time. But there’s no other way out, none that I know of.. can think of. None that I can see. I wish I could create a world of our own. Far from our fantasy land, a real world. I would never ever hurt you then. All I will do then is love you.
You, I want you to know something. You are the most beautiful thing that has ever occurred to me. Now at this point, there is no way I can imagine how my past years would have been had you not been there with me. I don’t even wanna give it a try! With you I felt joy, I felt content and happiness. I discovered love, it’s beauty far and beyond. Fair or not, it never mattered. You were always the pretty lil’ princess with a lost shoe for me. I would have never ever let anyone hurt you. But now I realize, that sooner or later it will be me, hurting you. And it hurts to know that. That pain, of hurting you, echoes inside the emptiness of my head, killing each part in my body. It feels, that I have you and still you aren’t there with me. I can feel you, but still can not touch you. I can hear you saying it to me, but I can’t see you in front of me. I wish this was a dream. A dream I would soon wake up to.
I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. It just, it will lessen the amount I feel bad for being with you, later on. I am sorry I was so busy loving you, cherishing the love from you that I didn’t realize it wasn’t meant for me. And that you would never be able to love anyone again. That we would never be able to love anyone again. How easy it was for you to get me to promise that I will move on if I ever find someone else I like. Damn I couldn’t even get you to promise me that. If, by any means, there’ll ever be a wish that someone could grant me, then it will be, that you find someone, someone who’s better, someone more deserving, and definitely more luckier than me. I wish you’d find him soon because I know he will worth it having you in his life. And he will never ever gonna let you miss me.. miss loving me. I do love you!
2010 : The end’s not near, it’s here!
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So, finally we meet again! I know it’s been long, really long. And I am sorry. I have been struggling with stuff of my own. The year has been tough, and hard.. and bad. For one, I couldn’t live it up to mine or anyone’s expectations. I didn’t even try! Late, lazy mornings; an year without breakfast; skipping up on lectures at will; attending useless, boring meetings; dodging glares from unwanted, ugly people always on lookout for a prey; activities, that once meant recreation and have now gone rogue and outta control; a bad, bad writer’s block; issues with God, and family, and almost everyone who’s around; few screwed up relations; broken and unkept promises, being the cause of numerous tears that rolled down numerous pretty faces of those who love me; that’s what 2010 has been for me, mostly. Of course that’s not all of it! Like that one streak of silver lining peeping through the dark, black clouds that they couldn’t stop (and never would); I too have had my own precious and cherished memories from the year that’s now slowly but steadily ticking away. I can’t obviously write them all, here in this post. Some feelings cannot be put into words, while some are better when kept within the safe boundaries of your heart and brain.
Dee’s wedding; the time I had always feared to face and the time I realized I don’t anymore. There was nothing I could have done, nothing better I could have done. That was how it was supposed to be. How much I have wanted to be the only living person to love my sister(s), see that no one else can love them any more than I do. That was when I realized how stupid I had been all this while. Yes, I didn’t want her to go; because I thought going then would mean she’s leaving me behind. Pulling me out of her life. It’s now I realize what a jerk I had been!
When I bumped into a long-lost bestest friend; the time I had a zillion questions thumping my brain, all devastated to crackle my skull and burst open my head, and one of them actually did, “HOW ARE YOU!?” When what actually I meant to ask was, “How is it that your eyes still look so beautiful?” And then, “When did you come back?” No, I meant to ask, “Can I touch your face? It’s so shiny and white, and as innocent as pure pearl..” And the last one, before something (someone) abruptly took her away from me, again, “What have you been doing?” Ahhh, again. No. “I was such a jerk to have let you go. I am sorry. Can we be together again?” If only it were the right ones that popped outta my head.
Birthday 2k10; the time worth savoring. My first (and might be the last) birthday at college, I couldn’t have asked for more! Few punches, no beatings, no a$$ kickings or bumpies, my face and clothes all spared the fate of a trash can crumpled to its misery.. Man! THAT was a dream birthday I’d so long wished for! It’s always been fun to watch someone else get the beatings after you have had your share; but someone else having your share too, yeah, that was delightful! And to the person, who made my day, whom I never got a chance to hug (I’m sorry), or thank, I would have never known what I would have been missing had you not been there in my life. Thanks for walking into my room (and my life), and make sure you always close the door behind, for I am never let you gonna go!
A relation born so special, with a person so dear; the time I would wanna remember for ages and generations, and centuries to come! That one call, that one conversation, I never thought we would walk this far to a place, from where there’s no coming back. Not that I care, as long as I have you.. and that’s for eternity, I know. Thanking would not be enough, but I know you will understand. You always do. I don’t know how. I love you!
That’s more of it. My complete 2010. Also there are others I wanna thank, people I met, and whom I didn’t. For it was because of you both that my year was like it was. A person here, or a person there could have meant something else entirely. I couldn’t have missed upon any of the good times I had; so thank you all! And to those, whom I hurt, in any way, unknowingly that is, I am sorry. I really am. For the rest, yes I hurt you willingly! And no, I am not sorry for that. You should have known the reason I did so. If not, you should have searched for one; still didn’t get it, should have asked me. It wouldn’t have bothered me, for you are none of my concerns for the rest of the year. Yeah! You are lucky bi$h, I don’t carry my grudges into the next year. You have a chance to start afresh. WE have a chance.. Happy New Year!
Period.
Sometimes..
22Sometimes, here in this world… you feel as if you are left all alone, far away… You look around to see if anyone’s around, anyone… someone…. Someone you know… Someone you want to know… But there’s no one around, no one to care, no one who cares… That’s the time you need friends, that’s when you make friends!
When leaving for my college, I was sad. Desperate I was, to begin my college life… but that feeling of parting with friends was painful… It hurt, it still does. But at least, now I have, whom I would call, the best of friends. Before I came here in JUIT, I doubted if I would make friends, I doubted if I could still make friends. But here I got, undoubtedly the best, and perhaps for the first time, love beyond my expectations. Once again, life taught me, it’s better not to have expectations of anyone, about anything. Life never occurs the way you want it to be. There were times, when I needed my friends in my life, I wanted them to be there for me, and I wanted to be with them… But they weren’t. And now, when I wanted to be alone, when I wanted to stay away from all relations, everything, then I meet people with whom I can share everything and anything… with whom I can be the real me. But I don’t want this, really I don’t. Life has somehow been unfair. Each time I had loved someone from the core, each time I got spiritually attached to a person I have lost them outta my life. I am tired of it now. I’m left with no power whatsoever within, to bear another parting, seeing yet another person walking out of my life for no mistake of mine. It hurts. It would be good if I maintain a distance from the very beginning.. I don’t want to get addicted to someone; I don’t want someone to get addicted to me. When things never turn up as you want them to, I believed this was the only option I’m left with. I tried keeping to it. But at times I just can’t resist.. I feel I can’t keep a distance from them, but I do.. Somehow I convince myself. But the next moment I forget about it. It doesn’t bother me when people don’t share their feelings with me, but when a friend doesn’t, it does bother, a lot. That’s when I forget that it’s been me, who had been maintaining distance and not them. And that’s when it hurts again, and it’s more than the pain of losing a friend. Atleast there you know, there’s nothing you can do to get them back.. But here, you’ll have that “if only I knew” feeling, which makes you feel worse. Had a friend who one day, out of the blue, blurted out things on my face, which of course weren’t that good to hear, and when I came back to senses an hour later, I realized I had lost her.. After another hour passed, it dawned on me she never was my friend. Yes, if she would have been, she wouldn’t have left like this.. for no reason at all.. That’s another good thing about college. You learn to live and survive in the real world. Not all here who come forward as your friends are truly your friends.. I don’t think I need to explain this part. All of you must be having a good experience with this. Period.
Adiós 2009, here comes 2k10!
4Times come, and go.. Times, both good.. and bad. But they leave things behind.. things, like our memories.. memories, when we were happy, and when we were sad..
The world is all set to bid goodbye to the year 2009 (some of them already did it though, not all humans inherit regions lying in same time zone, remember?). Sigh, 2K9.. the year, not everyone survived (This post is a tribute to all those souls).. The year, not everyone lived the way they wanted to.. Some did, others didn’t. Most of the times, you ended up doing things you never wanted to.. and things ended up like, you never wanted them to. But it’s not that, always you regretted those things happening to you. You did enjoy it, atleast once! The year 2009, must be special, must have got something special for each one of us. For me, too, the year 2K9 had been a year with kaleidoscopic emotions, feelings good and bad.. changes both wanted and unwanted.. achievements, those that I deserved and others that I didn’t.. failures (always undesirable!).. friends, I feel lucky to have and will always do.
The start of the year was hectic enough. IIT-JEE, AIEEE, BITSAT, what not! Not that I was one of the studious types, whom you will always find surrounded by books with names and authors you never heard of! But then, the ones not lying in that group are the ones who have to struggle, right? Struggle to get through the syllabus once, or twice (or maybe thrice and more.. varies from person to person, the density however decreases as we go up!). Add to it your parents’ never ending hushes and pushes “Bas kuch din aur beta, mann lagakar padho”, “kuch mahino ki mehnat, aur fir masti hi masti”, “vanvaas toh kaat liya, raavan maarna baaki hai bas” and thousands like that, GOD! 3 Months of reckless studying, and certain constraints and clauses landed me in Jaypee University of Information Technology, Waknaghat (JUIT, Waknaghat in short). College, I would say, is not quite different than schools. What creates the difference is opportunity. You’ll get opportunities in abundance there. Opportunity to know your worth, your skills and prove it before the world. Opportunity to be what you longed to be, opportunity to live life the special way, you wanted to always. You’re no longer a sibling, you get to go on your own. (P.S. Some still don’t!) You feel like you once again entered the phase of your life you once passed through, long ago, when you were a kiddo.. and you just joined school. You don’t know anyone, you won’t have the same friends you once had with you. You got to make some new. Befriend, trust, help, love and get loved. Seems like life’s revolving around in a circle. You do things, you once did when you just joined your school. But it’s different this time. You’re a bit.. grown up. I won’t go into the details here. Let teen/college tv soaps do their work 
The year had been sort of ‘torturous‘ I would say. Making new relations, keeping them safe and happy, hurting few, ignoring others completely! But then that’s how it has to be. You try to balance stuff and yourself get dis-balanced. Hard it is to be happy, harder it is to keep others happy. I made new friends, many of them.. and I love to have them, be with them. Then there are some whom I met after quite some time, 2 years and plus.. that’s the duration. There were things I did, things I had always wished to do.. the magazine for instance.. and the robotics workshop. There were things that kept me away from some relations, that kept me from caring and loving them. I believe they will forgive me, and that we will be more closer the coming year, than we were. I’m sorry.
And here is a something, for the person with whom I share the most beautiful relation in this world. You know it’s you. Thanks, for being there for me at times when I needed someone to hug me, kiss me, take away all my sorrows, and pains. You taught me things, that I’ll never forget. The moments I spent with you, this year, will always cherish in my heart. I Love You!
2009, an year of ups and downs. An year of mixed emotions. Emotions bole toh..
Frustration, Hushes, Recklessness, Exams, Tension, Results, Dissapointment, More Results, More Dissapointment, Anger, Frustration, Period.
College, Freedom, Fresh Start, New Friends, Ugly Teachers, Pretty Seniors, Football, Exams, Results, Party, Happy, Magazine, F**k, Robotics Workshop, Yippie, More Exams, Results, Vacations.
Things don’t always end up the way you want them to, but I’m happy my year 2009, ends here on a good note. Before signing off, I wanna share some lines of William Arthur Wards. Here they are:
“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!
This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest . . .
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!
I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs!”
Happy New Year 2K10
So friends, signing of is me, Ankur, in my last post of 2K9, in the last minute of 2K9, I wish you all a very happy 2010. Good Luck, Cheers.
3 Cheers for 3 Idiots!
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3 Idiots - A must watch!
Pants down and palms up! Give a high five! 3 Idiots is not a film, it’s one complete college life that goes whoooosh like a roller coaster before your eyes, guaranteeing tons and tons of rollicking laughter. A must-watch entertainer for all the campus students, 3 Idiots is a commendable tale of friends, and friendship that’ll last down your memory lane, for years to come. It is nonetheless like a kid that never tires of entertaining you.
Though an adaption of Chetan’s famous Five Point Someone, 3 Idiots has nothing much that could be related with it. Unlike Hello, the movie completely butchered Chetan’s work, this is just the opposite, probably even better. In fact it seems, in the case of 3 Idiots, the film makers have had a healthy competition with the author. With every passing sequence we see the efforts have gone higher and higher to make the film more interesting.
After the few initial sequences, the film is narrated in a non-linear pattern by Farhan Qureshi (R. Madhavan), the first idiot. He is brought together with the second idiot Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi) by Chatur Ramalingam, who apparently wants to clear the score with the three idiots. Thanks to Chatur Ramalingam’s obsession to prove that he is the winner, the two idiots reunite with the third one- Ranchoddas Laxmandas Chanchad (Aamir Khan).
The charm lies in it’s unconditional friendship and heart-touching songs with their beautiful lyrics. 3 Idiots is something that will get you crying and at the very same moment, making you laugh like anything. Salt water is a good conductor of electricity. Everyone’s read it, but Rancho (Aamir Khan) applied it on his ‘pissed-off’ senior to escape getting ragged on his very first day of the Imperial Engineering College. An Edison-in-the-making, he believes in striving for excellence rather than success, which, in fact, is the core message of the film. The song “Behti Hawa Sa Tha Woh” is something that describes him the best. Infact the same was used as a background score throughout the movie, and it definitely was awesome! But my personal favorite is “Jaane Nahi Denge Tujhe”. The song plus it’s timing in the movie, leaves you with nothing but tears. It’s something just awesome! The types only one who lived/lives his life for friends would understand, feel and appreciate. Another one that gets you dissolved in it’s beauty is “Give Me Some Sunshine”. It comes on a tragic note though, but is something worth listening.
Despite the foibles, ‘3 Idiots’ makes for an enjoyable watch, thanks to the bonhomie cracked up on screen by Aamir, Madhavan and Sharman. Aamir’s Rancho is a bouncy, fidgety genius with a golden heart. The 44-year-old actor almost passes off as a 22-year-old collegian, bringing out in his character the juvenile buoyancy and vivacity few actors of his age can. Madhavan and Sharman give ample support from the flanks, but a word of praise needs to be reserved for Sharman who shines equally in dramatic as well as funny scenes. Kareena, sadly, has been relegated to a corner but makes her presence felt in a few well-enacted sequences, but it’s Boman Irani who comes up with the best performance in the ensemble with his brilliant portrayal of an eccentric professor. His jawline protruded, his brows pursed, his gait ungainly, his speech lisped, Irani is every bit the vile and virulent Virus he’s supposed to be.
Concluding, 3 Idiots has everything one could easily relate with his or her college life. Seniors, ragging, ugly professors, pissed off students, cool nicks, rum, rustications, suicides, love.. everlasting friends. It is a perfecto to watch with friends this Christmas. Aal izz well, Cheers!
