The words not said..

I had a wish that you be mine, just mine. I wanted you to love me. And I wanted to be there always, to love you. If only I knew it was a mistake, that I was just being selfish. Selfish enough not to think what it would do to you.. what it will do to us. I know I did something wrong. Then why doesn’t it feel so wrong. It seemed perfect. Life felt so real. And I wanted to have it, all of it.

I am sorry I went overboard with our relation, it wasn’t meant to go that way. I am sorry I got carried away.. with it’s emotions, love and serenity. With you life seemed so perfectly perfect that I just didn’t want to give it up, ever. All I wanted was every bit of love that you got. I wanted other’s share of it too. You must think I was selfish. When all I was doing was being stupid. I made our lives so obscure to deal with. I made it so small to comfort in. You and me, that was it. What I thought and I always knew but never realized, never wanted to realize was that it could never happen. You and me, it could never be that way. Life would never be the way we could be happy, together. Life ain’t programmed to keep everyone forever happy. I wish it did. And I know you’d wish the same. But I don’t know why it always has to be the harsh way. I hate myself for bringing tears to your eyes, rolling them down those sweet lil’ cheeks of yours.. the same I used to kiss each time. But there’s no other way out, none that I know of.. can think of. None that I can see. I wish I could create a world of our own. Far from our fantasy land, a real world. I would never ever hurt you then. All I will do then is love you.

You, I want you to know something. You are the most beautiful thing that has ever occurred to me. Now at this point, there is no way I can imagine how my past years would have been had you not been there with me. I don’t even wanna give it a try! With you I felt joy, I felt content and happiness. I discovered love, it’s beauty far and beyond. Fair or not, it never mattered. You were always the pretty lil’ princess with a lost shoe for me. I would have never ever let anyone hurt you. But now I realize, that sooner or later it will be me, hurting you. And it hurts to know that. That pain, of hurting you, echoes inside the emptiness of my head, killing each part in my body. It feels, that I have you and still you aren’t there with me. I can feel you, but still can not touch you. I can hear you saying it to me, but I can’t see you in front of me. I wish this was a dream. A dream I would soon wake up to.

I don’t know if I am doing the right thing. It just, it will lessen the amount I feel bad for being with you, later on. I am sorry I was so busy loving you, cherishing the love from you that I didn’t realize it wasn’t meant for me. And that you would never be able to love anyone again. That we would never be able to love anyone again. How easy it was for you to get me to promise that I will move on if I ever find someone else I like. Damn I couldn’t even get you to promise me that. If, by any means, there’ll ever be a wish that someone could grant me, then it will be, that you find someone, someone who’s better, someone more deserving, and definitely more luckier than me. I wish you’d find him soon because I know he will worth it having you in his life. And he will never ever gonna let you miss me.. miss loving me. I do love you!

About the author

Ankur

Twen'ty-something, Ought to be a Sagittarius, Should have been naturally expressive, but is not. Thinks a lot, follows not even half of it.. Confused, guess he likes to be, will always be!

View all posts

10 Comments

  • Yay!
    You are the best! Made it really easy peasy for the readers… and expressed yourself – as always – in such a perfect way. I tend to do the same as you, fix other people’s problems while I am crumbling inside…
    Let’s keep spreading the gratitude and the LOVE!!
    I’m so happy you decided to do this challenge with me!
    <3

  • beautifully written…*with a tear in my eyes..describing the real inner feelings and then putting it into words is quite a difficult task…I could feel each and everything of what u depicted..if not everything,then quite a lot..even i have gone through that feelings or rather still do…For me,it was my love for her that just went too beyond the line for our comfort leading into excessive posessiveness.. i wanted her to be with me for the whole time,for whole 24 hours..thats just not possible..
    keep writing!
    awesome dude! Hugs u!

  • Sì, ben scritta (Yes, beautifully written) Ankur… sometimes there are way to many things that need to be said and sadly we leave them left unsaid. I know I am guilty of that myself…. keep on expressing yourself…

  • I’m sorry for I am commenting after so long. Well, you know me… even i do get lazy at times. 😉
    Well, truly awesome. Each and every line seems so heart touching.
    I don’t have much to say just this… “I must say she’ll be lucky one for you loves her and for sure she is someone so special for she is your love.”
    In such a Brilliant way you had happened to share your emotions. You don’t express yourself but yes, when you do, you make sure you do the best and for that you are my favourite.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *