Sometimes..

Sometimes, here in this world… you feel as if you are left all alone, far away… You look around to see if anyone’s around, anyone… someone…. Someone you know… Someone you want to know… But there’s no one around, no one to care, no one who cares… That’s the time you need friends, that’s when you make friends!

When leaving for my college, I was sad. Desperate I was, to begin my college life… but that feeling of parting with friends was painful… It hurt, it still does.  But at least, now I have, whom I would call, the best of friends. Before I came here in JUIT, I doubted if I would make friends, I doubted if I could still make friends. But here I got, undoubtedly the best, and perhaps for the first time, love beyond my expectations. Once again, life taught me, it’s better not to have expectations of anyone, about anything. Life never occurs the way you want it to be. There were times, when I needed my friends in my life, I wanted them to be there for me, and I wanted to be with them… But they weren’t. And now, when I wanted to be alone, when I wanted to stay away from all relations, everything, then I meet people with whom I can share everything and anything… with whom I can be the real me. But I don’t want this, really I don’t. Life has somehow been unfair. Each time I had loved someone from the core, each time I got spiritually attached to a person I have lost them outta my life. I am tired of it now. I’m left with no power whatsoever within, to bear another parting, seeing yet another person walking out of my life for no mistake of mine. It hurts. It would be good if I maintain a distance from the very beginning.. I don’t want to get addicted to someone; I don’t want someone to get addicted to me. When things never turn up as you want them to, I believed this was the only option I’m left with.  I tried keeping to it. But at times I just can’t resist.. I feel I can’t keep a distance from them, but I do.. Somehow I convince myself. But the next moment I forget about it. It doesn’t bother me when people don’t share their feelings with me, but when a friend doesn’t, it does bother, a lot. That’s when I forget that it’s been me, who had been maintaining distance and not them. And that’s when it hurts again, and it’s more than the pain of losing a friend. Atleast there you know, there’s nothing you can do to get them back.. But here, you’ll have that “if only I knew” feeling, which makes you feel worse. Had a friend who one day, out of the blue, blurted out things on my face, which of course weren’t that good to hear, and when I came back to senses an hour later, I realized I had lost her.. After another hour passed, it dawned on me she never was my friend. Yes, if she would have been, she wouldn’t have left like this.. for no reason at all.. That’s another good thing about college. You learn to live and survive in the real world. Not all here who come forward as your friends are truly your friends.. I don’t think I need to explain this part. All of you must be having a good experience with this. Period.

About the author

Ankur

Twen'ty-something, Ought to be a Sagittarius, Should have been naturally expressive, but is not. Thinks a lot, follows not even half of it.. Confused, guess he likes to be, will always be!

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23 Comments

  • Its good to forget the bad times that you have faced being in any relationship and to start afresh with so many lovely friends that you have been blessed with..Parting away is a part of each and every person’s life and you can’t help it..what matters is being in touch with our loved ones..so that their love and beautiful memories can stay in our heart for our lifetime!!

  • hey dear i can understand very well how much it pains wen sumone goes out of ur life but sumtyms we just need to accept this bitter truth of life and im happy u are able to manage things very well.
    i would just say that always keep the cheerful memories of ur past with you as they encourage u at every step to move frwd with best of urs and yaah rem that if u had loved sumone truly then one day he or she will surely realise it and will regret on loosing such a nyc person like u in his or her life.
    Further dun think that ppl keeps going out of ur life they do go i agree but yet im sure they too cant forget u ever. Sumtym or other they do rem you and thats coz of the goodness within you.

    Dun change urself ever coz u r just the best.


  • Urvashi:

    Its good to forget the bad times that you have faced being in any relationship and to start afresh with so many lovely friends that you have been blessed with..Parting away is a part of each and every person’s life and you can’t help it..what matters is being in touch with our loved ones..so that their love and beautiful memories can stay in our heart for our lifetime!!

    I know, thanks!

  • …and if you think that no one will ever come to know, that you are trying to keep a distance…by not sharing your feeling or by not letting others to share their feelings with you!! then dear u r not doing the right. People do come to know-not all-but the ones who really love you, they just need a look at your face to know what’s going on, in there.

    And if the person you mentioned in this post is the same i think she is, then you should know that it was this same attitude that initiated the gap and then it just widened and widened!!! You cannot just ignore the truth by telling yourself that she would not have left you if she was your friend..! Even people feel hurt when they find that their only friend, in the all new world they have come to, are not interested in their troubles and disturbances.


  • Varun:

    And if the person you mentioned in this post is the same i think she is, then you should know that it was this same attitude that initiated the gap and then it just widened and widened!!! You cannot just ignore the truth by telling yourself that she would not have left you if she was your friend..! Even people feel hurt when they find that their only friend, in the all new world they have come to, are not interested in their troubles and disturbances.

    I always helped, and I’ll always do, as and when she’ll need it.. She went away, doesn’t mean she left the place I made for her in my life.


  • Ankur:


    Varun:

    And if the person you mentioned in this post is the same i think she is, then you should know that it was this same attitude that initiated the gap and then it just widened and widened!!! You cannot just ignore the truth by telling yourself that she would not have left you if she was your friend..! Even people feel hurt when they find that their only friend, in the all new world they have come to, are not interested in their troubles and disturbances.

    I always helped, and I’ll always do, as and when she’ll need it.. She went away, doesn’t mean she left the place I made for her in my life.

    I know you had a space for her in your life but she couldn’t find it!!! it was really hard to.


  • Varun:

    …and if you think that no one will ever come to know, that you are trying to keep a distance…by not sharing your feeling or by not letting others to share their feelings with you!! then dear u r not doing the right. People do come to know-not all-but the ones who really love you, they just need a look at your face to know what’s going on, in there.

    And since when did you start using words like ‘dear’? o_O


  • Varun:

    I know you had a space for her in your life but she couldn’t find it!!! it was really hard to.

    But that’s the usual me, I never show the other person what they mean for me, or you may say I can’t.

  • I was totally engrossed in the post… Awesome composition man..!!
    Loved the line “Life never occurs the way you want it to be.” So true.
    I can some-what relate to your “situation”..
    But hey, keeping a distance from all is not the solution… You should be friends with a few… whom you can call as your best buds… with whom you share that “emotional attachment”
    Yaah, with the rest of the people, you could be professional…
    Remember: Chaar yaar, ek pyaar, zindagi sakaar….

    • Thanks buddy, I know it’s not the solution, I realised it late. But that’s the way out I found, dunno..
      And haha, “Chaar yaar, ek pyaar, zindagi sakaar..”
      Idhar yaar bhi hain, pyaar bhi hain.. bas zindagi sakaar nahi hai 😉

  • I like your post. I can relate to it. The truth is, people are always gonna hurt you. But there are some who’re worth suffering for, others are not.
    There was a time i held back from everyone too, i was too afraid to open up. But we gotta learn to find our peace; that correct distance from a person where we can give them what they need without losing everything we’ve ever wanted. Life is too short to stay away from everyone forever, that way you end up with onlly regrets. This way, when you’ll look back, you’ll find a few people who’ll be watching yoru back, protecting you from hurt.
    And there is no one in this world who doesn’t give something to someone without feeling like a fool and regretting over the wasted time and emotions at some point or the other. So you’re not alone in that.
    Please don’t give up on writing; its worth too much to just let go of. All the best 🙂

    • You are right, umm, I guess. Of course I don’t regret over giving something to someone. I don’t regret anything I do, because I won’t do anything that I would regret on later, at first place.

      And giving up writing? I would never do that of course, not until my pen is out of refill, or my laptop just ran out of battery. 😉

  • Wow..Nice blog Ankur! 🙂
    But i believe when u really need someone,they will be around always..Its just that sometimes for some reasons u can;t tell them what’s wrong and how miserable u feel currently..
    Things don’t really turn up the way u want but going away from people won;t help u out in maintaining the relation with them..

  • When the broken hearts are mended and the many tears are dried,u learn.When ua over the old boyfrnzs n galfrnz and u realize u can live without ur first love,u learn.You see the world doesn’t end up jus coz u think it will,and that sometimes growing up means letting go.You learn what real love is,and u begin to see that one frnd whu really cares about u is better than a hundred frnz whu don’t.You learn that u can b strong,take each day step by step,and survive evry sad moment.So feel the pain and cry the tears,go out n experience life.But when u r at the end of the rope,and ua ready to jump off that ledge,remember that heartache fades,pain subsides,and though life seems at tyms too tough to handle,it’s also too precious a gift to waste.Keep on living,never give up,and remember:”AS YOU GROW,U LEARN”

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