Sometimes, here in this world… you feel as if you are left all alone, far away… You look around to see if anyone’s around, anyone… someone…. Someone you know… Someone you want to know… But there’s no one around, no one to care, no one who cares… That’s the time you need friends, that’s when you make friends!
When leaving for my college, I was sad. Desperate I was, to begin my college life… but that feeling of parting with friends was painful… It hurt, it still does. But at least, now I have, whom I would call, the best of friends. Before I came here in JUIT, I doubted if I would make friends, I doubted if I could still make friends. But here I got, undoubtedly the best, and perhaps for the first time, love beyond my expectations. Once again, life taught me, it’s better not to have expectations of anyone, about anything. Life never occurs the way you want it to be. There were times, when I needed my friends in my life, I wanted them to be there for me, and I wanted to be with them… But they weren’t. And now, when I wanted to be alone, when I wanted to stay away from all relations, everything, then I meet people with whom I can share everything and anything… with whom I can be the real me. But I don’t want this, really I don’t. Life has somehow been unfair. Each time I had loved someone from the core, each time I got spiritually attached to a person I have lost them outta my life. I am tired of it now. I’m left with no power whatsoever within, to bear another parting, seeing yet another person walking out of my life for no mistake of mine. It hurts. It would be good if I maintain a distance from the very beginning.. I don’t want to get addicted to someone; I don’t want someone to get addicted to me. When things never turn up as you want them to, I believed this was the only option I’m left with. I tried keeping to it. But at times I just can’t resist.. I feel I can’t keep a distance from them, but I do.. Somehow I convince myself. But the next moment I forget about it. It doesn’t bother me when people don’t share their feelings with me, but when a friend doesn’t, it does bother, a lot. That’s when I forget that it’s been me, who had been maintaining distance and not them. And that’s when it hurts again, and it’s more than the pain of losing a friend. Atleast there you know, there’s nothing you can do to get them back.. But here, you’ll have that “if only I knew” feeling, which makes you feel worse. Had a friend who one day, out of the blue, blurted out things on my face, which of course weren’t that good to hear, and when I came back to senses an hour later, I realized I had lost her.. After another hour passed, it dawned on me she never was my friend. Yes, if she would have been, she wouldn’t have left like this.. for no reason at all.. That’s another good thing about college. You learn to live and survive in the real world. Not all here who come forward as your friends are truly your friends.. I don’t think I need to explain this part. All of you must be having a good experience with this. Period.